eternalbrain:

alien-bean-branch:

amalishope:

When they say goodnight but you still see them online an hour later..

When you’re a good friend and know that sometimes your friend needs their own space and alone time

(via jewish-harley-quinn)

jillyyfish:

youtubeiswherethepoopis:

buzzlightyearhugecock:

buzzlightyearhugecock:

buzzlightyearhugecock:

buzzlightyearhugecock:

buzzlightyearhugecock:

buzzlightyearhugecock:

when i was in grade 5 some kid told me the song “wake me up when september ends” was about 9/11 and i believed him until like three years ago

i cried so hard when we watched the lion king in first grade that my teacher called my parents and sent me home early

in high school i was questioned by the principal over drug use because i accidentally left my notebook in the bathroom and a teacher opened it to a drawing of an anime character saying “all i want for christmas is weed” but really i was a repressed nerd and never smoked a weed in my life

i made a joke about anal fissures in front of my extremely religious roommate and i thought she was gonna yell at me but instead she asked what an anal fissure was

i thought hatsune miku was a real person 

in grade 8 i got in trouble for saying vagina in science class so the teacher made me fill out this stupid discipline worksheet and one of the questions was “how do i feel about what i did” 

i answered “good”

“again, weird, but also technically not a sin”

(via jewish-harley-quinn)

drateeny:

best quality: his wiggles

(via jewish-harley-quinn)

pyrodarknessanny:

nukawin-deactivated20210730:

breezeinmonochromenight:

iconictiktoks:

TURN THE AUDIO ON PLEASE.

Legit this fucking video kept crashing my phone when I tried to watch it this morning.

Finally got to see what the fuss was about.

It was worth the 5 crashes my phone suffered.

Hahaha YASSS

(via jewish-harley-quinn)

pleasingbutts:

kissbridging:

thegreenmeridian:

twinky-dinky-doo:

robhand:

b0gvvitch:

kurtamutual:

gordon ramsey: is the food good here?

underpaid server: 

My favourite thing about that show is how he treats servers. It was also the source of some very intense fantasies when I was a barista of him busting into my cafe, calling my boss a fucking idiot, then taking me against the broken dishwasher.

(via jewish-harley-quinn)

staticandlove:

tmgpodcast:

the DELIVERY

Shakespeare would write this

(via jewish-harley-quinn)